🎉🚀BREAKING: The iPhone 17 is coming in HOT like a chili pepper on fire! 🔥🍑 Mark your calendars, because Apple is set to drop the juiciest fruit 🥴 on us this September, probably while we’re all trying to figure out why we spent $1,000 on a phone that still doesn’t have a charger in the box 🙄💰. Rumor has it, the iPhone 17 will NOT come with any revolutionary features, just more camera lenses that nobody asked for 🤳, a battery life that’s still worse than my motivation to workout, and maybe a new shade of "Obsidian Black" for the existential crisis you’ll have once you realize you’re still getting scammed every year. 💀💸 Leaked dev convo: 🗨️ Developer 1: “Hey bro, what if we add *ONE* more camera?” 🗨️ Developer 2: “Bro, that’s genius! Stonks!” 💹 And let’s not even get started on the Apple Watch Series 11—it’s literally just the Series 10 but now with “improved fitness tracking” so you can track how many times you *don’t* go to the gym. 🤦‍♂️💔 So, Apple stans, get ready to spoon-feed your wallets once again! Can’t wait for the reviews to be like "This is fine" while your bank account screams in agony. 🍵💀 **UNHINGED Prediction**: By 2025, Apple will only exist as a hologram and we'll be buying iPhones on the blockchain from an NFT! 📱💎🤖 #VaporWare #iPhoneInfinity2025