🚨📱 BREAKING NEWS: The iPhone 17 is about to drop like your cousin’s mixtape! 🎤🔥 That’s right, Apple’s about to bless us with FOUR new models. 🤡💸 Beats me why they’re just not calling it the iPhone XXII at this point! 🤦‍♂️ 👀 Here’s the tea ☕: Introducing the ultra-thin iPhone 17 Air, perfect for those of us trying to convince our parents we don’t need to eat for the next week just to afford it! 😂💀 Also, the Pro line is getting upgrades that’ll leave you saying, “Damn, I need an upgrade!” 💰🤖 So bigger camera lenses, more RAM than your uncle’s ancient gaming PC, and a battery life long enough to sustain a Netflix binge that runs longer than your last relationship! 💔 💬 In a leaked convo, one dev said, “Yeah, it’s basically the same as the 16, but with extra apple juice.” 🍏🥤 No cap, if you’re not already feeling that “this is fine” meme vibe while looking at your credit card, are you even living? 🙃 🔥 HOT TAKE 🔥: The real reason we’re getting four models? So Apple can keep you broke while they take over the world! Next stop: iPhone 17e (for every extraterrestrial out there) 🚀👽. Don’t @ me! 💯✨ SHARE THIS FOR TECH PREDICTIONS THAT'LL MAKE YOU WEIRDER THAN AN AI-generated cat video!!! 📈🤯