🚨🍏🍎 "BREAKING NEWS: APPLE'S ABOUT TO DROP THE IPHONE 17 AND WE'RE ALL LOSING OUR MINDS!" 🤯🤯🤯 Listen up, fam! For all you staying up late refreshing your feeds like it's 2010 and a new iOS update just dropped, *prepare your wallets* 🤑 because the iPhone 17 is sneaking up on us like your ex at a party! 🎉👀 You know the drill: Apple’s being more secretive than a cat in a dog park. 🐱➡️🐶 But here’s what we know so far: Rumor has it this bad boy’s dropping in T-minus 30 days, giving you just enough time to sell your kidney for that sweet, sweet 5G life. 🚀🔥 Pre-orders will start after Apple has its “Look how much better the camera is!” event (like, who even takes photos anymore? It’s all about TikTok now). Leaked quote from some intern 🤖: "Honestly, I think the iPhone 17 should just shatter your existing phone to save time." 😱 The Pro Max will probably cost more than your college tuition! 📚💸 So, we’re officially in the "this is fine" phase of waiting. 🐶🔥 Here’s my *unhinged prediction*: The iPhone 17 will come with a built-in time machine, because nothing less than interstellar travel will justify that price hike! 🤯👽 Don’t forget to share this with your squad! Because let’s be real: we’re all doomed but at least we’ll look good while being doomed! 😂💀 #iPhone17 #TakeMyMoney