🍏🔥 **BREAKING: iPhone 17 CASES THAT CAN PROBABLY STOP A BULLET?** 🔫🤯 Yo fam! Get ready to trade your old OtterBox for Apple’s NEW 'TechWoven' cases for the iPhone 17! This is literally fabric woven by THE HANDS OF HEAVEN, promising to protect your precious device from everything — even that 3rd cup of coffee you spilled last week. ☕💀 No cap, these cases might also be the best scratch-and-sniff in 2025. *Doge approves* 🐶👍 Meanwhile, rumor has it that Apple has ghosted MLB like it’s a bad Tinder date. “I didn’t want to be tied down anyway,” says Tim Cook, probably while diving into a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck. 🏊‍♂️💰 And oh boy, iOS 26 beta 7 is *literally* giving us 2025 vibes. It’s like your grandma with a TikTok account — scary yet *also* exciting! Can't wait to see how many of our favorite apps will crash and burn. 😱🤖 🎉 In today's special Ask9to5Mac segment, the listener questions are hotter than your phone after playing *Candy Crush* for 8 hours straight! 😤🔥 🎉 Plus, in the Happy Hour, Benjamin's annual predictions have officially been crowned a disaster. 🤡🧠 But don’t worry, he’s back for more with three hot takes for the rest of 2025. 🔥**UNHINGED PREDICTION**: In a shocking twist, all Apple devices will be so advanced in 2025 that they’ll start charging YOU for the privilege of existing. So stay woke, fam! 🚀💀 #ThisIsFine