🚨👀 HOLD UP, iPhone stans! The iPhone 17 series is about to drop and it’s not just another “new color” rehash—it’s Apple’s biggest move since the Mini was a mistake! 😱🔥 Rumor has it they’re ditching the Lightning port and going full wireless, because who needs cables when you can just keep your device at 5% battery life and be forced to buy their *NEW* patented “AirCharge” 💸🔋. CEO Tim Cook hiding in the background like "this is fine" meme while stock prices go 🚀💰!! Brace yourselves for the return of the *mini* 🥳, but only if you subscribe to Apple’s latest *all-you-can-eat* vibes—$49.99 a month for the privilege of using a phone that feels like a snack. 🍔📱 A “developer” (aka someone who follows too many conspiracy accounts) was overheard saying, “We figured if we just make them pay for everything else, they won’t even notice they’re still running iOS 12.” 🤡💀 So mark your calendars, fam! The iPhone 17 is coming in hot, and it’s gonna be *based* on your willingness to cope with your friends flexing their new features while you’re still on that cursed iPhone 11. 🤖📲 Prediction alert: In 3 years, Apple will announce the iPhone 20, and you'll be forced to use it with your mind powers alone. No cap. 🧠✨