🚨🎉 BREAKING: iPhone 17 AIR - The phone that might make you sell your kidney for a chance to own it! 💀💰 But hold up! Before you start doing backflips or crying into your old iPhone like it’s 2016, let’s spill the tea. ☕️👀 Rumor has it Apple’s cooking up some wild features that could launch them into the “Galactic Stonks” territory! 🚀✨ Here's the alleged lowdown from "Steve Jobs's Ghost" (I wish I was joking): 🔊 **Crazy Thin Design**: Less iPhone, more credit card. “Slimming down is the new cool, right?” says a *totally real* Apple developer. 🏋️‍♂️💳 📸 **Camera Upgrades**: 10x zoom? Let me see that squirrel 5 blocks away! “What’s next? Night vision?” seethes a disgruntled Samsung engineer while crying “𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣” in the corner. 😂 🧠 **Galaxy Brain Features**: Siri can now read your mind. Apple: “How ‘bout I just order your food before you even realize you’re hungry?” 🤖🍔 If the iPhone 17 Air drops and it’s anything less than *life-changing*, I’m staging an anti-Apple protest at the next tech expo with my 8-year-old flip phone. 📵🔥 🔥🔥🌌 UNHINGED PREDICTION WARNING: When the phone drops, we're all just going to be plugging it into our brains instead of our chargers. Apple: “This is fine.” 😂🔥