📱💀 BREAKING: iPhone 17 set to break records and your bank account! 💰🚀 Listen up, tech fam! 🍏✨ In just a few weeks, *the* fruit company is dropping the iPhone 17, and it's about to snatch a record that’s been chillin’ for 15 years like it's in a time capsule 🧙‍♂️. That's right, buckle up because we’re about to witness a smartphone saga more epic than your ex trying to slide into your DMs. 🤡 Rumor has it this bad boy is not just a glorified calculator with a camera 📸 (looking at you, iPhone 6). Nah, this one's gonna be the *first* to steal the crown of records! 👑 Here's what we know so far: *1 Year* of breaking records 🕰️ and CEOs spitting facts like they’ve been training in a tech dojo. 😂 **Leaked quote from an Apple dev:** "We're not even trying to innovate anymore. We're just here to make you pay for last year's features but with a new number 🤷‍♂️💸." Drake’s got that “God’s Plan” energy for the iPhone 17, but let’s be real – are we just gonna hit that “stonks” button after dropping mortgage payments on a glass rectangle? 📉🔥 👉 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, iPhone will announce a liquid version that plunges into your bank account without you even knowing. You laugh but I’m just saying, it’s all happening! 🤖💥💦