🚨🍏📲 **BREAKING APPLE DRAMA ALERT!** 🍏🚨 So, guess what, fam? Tim Cook is *low-key* plotting his retirement like it’s The Hunger Games, and we're all just Katniss waiting for the next book 📖✨. Word on the street is Timmy is bouncing as soon as 2026, and honestly, can we blame him? Trying to keep that iPhone hype alive is tougher than understanding a JavaScript promise 🤔💀. But wait, there's more! iPadOS 26.2 is dropping like it’s hot 🔥, and they’re finally listening to users! Life hack: If you see Apple’s devs, throw them a snack. Rumor has it that's the only way to get multitasking fixed 💻🤷‍♂️. Let’s drop some Tesla tea ☕🚗! CarPlay might be coming to our beloved Teslas, because who wouldn’t want to vibe to “Take On Me” while their car decides to take a detour like a drunken Uber driver? And MLS is crashing Apple TV like it's a Friday night house party 🎉📺. So, buckle up, soccer fans! ⚽ **Developer Quote:** “We’re basically making iPadOS one long TikTok meme. No cap.” - Anonymous Apple Source (probably in the bathroom, fr fr). 🔥🌌 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** Tim Cook announces his retirement via a viral TikTok dance challenge. #DanceYourWayOut 🕺💼