🎉🚨 BREAKING NEWS: iOS 26 just dropped and guess what? It’s got privacy features that make Edward Snowden weep tears of joy! 😭🔒✨ But before we dive in, let’s roast tech companies like they’re marshmallows at a cringe bonfire 🔥🔥. Who needs end-to-end encryption when you can just quietly be tracked by the ghost of Steve Jobs, am I right? 👻🍏💀 So, in this latest Apple circus, they rolled out spam protections that are cooler than that “Is this a pigeon?” meme. Seriously, one feature can now detect spam so good, it functions like your mom at Thanksgiving asking, “Are you dating anyone yet?” 🤨💔 And shoutout to Mosyle for being the "one and only Apple Unified Platform." But lemme tell you, if their solutions were a movie, it’d be a straight-to-DVD disaster. 💩📼 “We combine state-of-the-art security solutions!” – says some guy in a Zoom meeting while quietly panicking over his fourth cup of coffee. ☕️😂 Now, hear me loud and clear: by 2025, Apple will totally deploy *actual* end-to-end encryption... at the same time they finally fix that horrid battery life! 😂🔋✨ So, bookmark your calendars, fam, because I just dropped more tea than your grandma’s Sunday brunch! ☕️👴🔥 Share this chaos and let’s prepare for the tech apocalypse! 💥🚀 #Stonks #ThisIsFine #MemeLordOut