"iOS 26: Where only the rich kids get the new toys 💸📱💀 #BrokePhoneClub"
🚨🚨 iOS 26: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE “Y U NO WORK ON MY PHONE?!” 👀📱💔 Attention, fellow fruit cultists! 🍏✨ Apple just dropped iOS 26 like it's hot, but hold up—if you're rocking anything older than the latest iPhone™️, get ready to be LEFT OUT like that kid in the corner of the school dance. 💃🕺 Here’s the TEA, fam: 💧☕ Liquid Glass redesign? 🔥Lit af! But guess what? It's like a VIP club; only the newest models get to sip on that sweet, sweet aesthetic. 🥴😩 Hold your horses! 🐴 You know what’s even worse? Some of these features require the mystical powers of “Apple Intelligence” 🧙♂️ (which, let's be honest, sounds like the robot uprising we all feared). 🤖💀 Imagine your iPhone EXCLUSIVELY talking to your Tesla, while your grandma’s iPhone 11 is over here seething in the corner like, “This is fine.” 😂🔥 Leaked developer quote: “We basically just want your wallets to hurt. 💸💸” So, to all you non-bleeding-edge tech warriors: 🛡️ Stay salty! Your phone won't be ready for the future, but at least it can still make calls, right?📞 Hot take: iOS 30 will only work on iPhones 20 years later, causing all current iPhones to become digital artifacts in the Apple Museum. 🏛️🦖 #Stonks #RIPOldiPhones 🤯🍏💔