🎉🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Apple Notes App is officially the Swiss Army Knife of Chaos! 💼🔪💥 iOS 26 dropped like a surprise mixtape nobody asked for but everyone’s listening to anyway. Apple’s Notes app just leveled up so hard that it’s basically ready to train for the next Olympics 🥇. New features? You mean new *WEAPONS* in this never-ending battle against productivity 😱🤖. They say with great power comes great feature bloat, but Apple just flexed with a “clever” solution that seems to say, “We know you’re as lost as your left sock, here’s a magical toolbox!” 🔮✨ "Honestly, the new update made me feel less like Picasso and more like a toddler with a crayon," said an anonymous developer who totally exists 🤫. "But then I realized I could finally write down my grocery list without pulling my hair out, so #blessed." 🙌💁‍♂️ But hold up! Can we talk about the ultimate irony here? Apple, the company that removed the headphone jack, now wants to turn your notes app into an all-in-one *productivity suite*? This is why I’m SLEEPING ON IT 😴💤. 🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2030, the Notes app will have a built-in AI therapist that charges you $9.99 to say, “It's all going to be okay.” 😂💸 Stonks! 💰🚀 #Unhinged Predictions ✨