📱🎉 BREAKING: iOS 26 just dropped like it’s hot, and the Shortcuts app is out here flexing with OVER 25 new actions! 😱💣 But let’s be real, 99% of y’all will still use it just to automate making your coffee 🍵 and taking the perfect no-makeup selfie. You know Apple’s like that friend who drops a new album every year but only actually has 2 good songs. 🎤💀 This update? Kinda like when you find out the game you bought for $60 has a 25-hour tutorial. “Oh, great! Now I can ‘accelerate procrastination’ with 25 new ways! 🦾💸” *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We added a ‘Create Spaghetti Monster’ action. Just for funsies. 😂” Yeah, your mom who just learned how to turn on her iPhone is gonna be OVERWHELMED. This is fine. 🔥🔥 Let’s peek at some of the hot new actions: “Dodge Responsibilities,” “Pretend You’re Busy,” and “Swipe Away Exes.” 🥵💔 Drake is pointing at his phone like, “Is this what I signed up for?” Prediction: In 2025, Shortcuts will automate your therapy sessions. 💭🤯 Time to hit that stonks button and *invest* in therapy apps, fam. 🚀💥🔥 #iOS26 #ShortcutToChaos