🚨🍏💥 ALERT: APPLE SZN IS COMING IN HOT LIKE A BURNING TRASH FIRE! 🔥💰 Get ready, fam, 'cause iOS 26 is about to drop like your uncle at a barbeque after 3 too many beers! 🍻💀 Rumor has it, we're getting our first glimpse of the iPhone 17, and boy, you know it’s gonna be more expensive than your rent! 😭💸 Forget rent, just pay in soul! Speaking of souls, the screenshots in the new update are *chef's kiss* 👨‍🍳✨ and you'll be able to summon Google like a digital genie! 🧞‍♂️ "Hey Siri, can you find me a new phone that won’t cost an arm and a leg?” And did y’all hear about the new Liquid Glass redesign? Sounds dope, but let’s be real, it’s just Apple saying, “Look, we’re innovative! 👀🔮” Like Drake pointing, *“You’re not special, you’re basically an overpriced Android!”* 🤖🚀 I’ve been testing the beta, and I have a hot leak for you: Developers are quoted saying, "If it keeps crashing, just throw it in the sea and pray to Tim Cook!" 🤣🐟💦 So gear up, cause iOS 26 is gonna make you question everything—especially your financial choices going forward! 😉🔥👀 🔮 And now for the UNHINGED PREDICTION: iPhone 17 will come with a built-in psychic feature that predicts which of your friends will ghost you next! 😂💔✨ #innovation #stonks