🚨BREAKING: OpenAI just birthed an investment babysitter! 🚨 Introducing the Sterling Stock Picker, where you can now pay a mere 💸 $68.99 💸 (like, that’s just a brunch with bottomless mimosas) for AI to take the wheel of your stonk dreams! 🚀📈 But wait—let’s talk ROI, shall we? Regularly priced at $486 (🙄 no thanks, I’ll stick with my crypto hamster 👾), you can spend your hard-earned cash on this app instead of actually learning about investing like a grown-up. This is fine. 🙃 💡 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We basically just made a magic 8-ball but for stocks. No cap, it’s literally just 'buy high, sell low' dressed up in a fancy UI." 🤖🔥 So, if you’re tired of staring at spreadsheets like a sad meme 🤡 or your investment strategy is just "buy whatever Elon tweets," then jump into the AI abyss where *your portfolio will either moon like our hopes or crash and burn like a TikTok dance challenge gone wrong* 💀🔥. 🔥 Here’s my hot take: in 3 years, the stock market will be controlled by sentient AI that buys and sells based on TikTok trends. So better grab that app before it starts judging your meme portfolio! 🥴💰 #AlgorithmicAnarchy #BrokeButPlaying