🚨 Intel's tick-tock is officially a tick-tock-tock on life support! 🚨💀💔 You thought we were getting a new processor? Nah fam, we’re just getting another chapter of “The Struggle is Real.” 🤡💼 #IntelSobs So, Windows 10's deathbed is crowded—like a meme-filled Discord server—while Intel's over here asking for a booster shot from Nvidia, Softbank, and Uncle Sam like it’s a freakin’ party! 🎉💰💀 "Give us chips!" they cry, but the silicone fairies are on vacation, and guess what? The only thing they’re cooking up is a saucy AI obsession! 🤖🔥 #CBT (Can’t Be Trusted) In the latest "I Can’t Even" earnings call, CEO Lip-Bu Tan was like, “We’re finally PROFITING!” But only because their friends - who they owe rent to - chipped in 🤔🍕. Meanwhile, CFO David Zinsner was looking like he lost a bet: "Shh... don’t tell anyone we don’t have the chips yet." 😬💸 Honestly, if Intel were any more out of touch, they’d be hosting a 90s LAN party and thinking it's cool. 🤦‍♂️🕹️ Hot take: Intel will be launching their first AI chip in 3025, and it'll just be a fridge magnet with the words "Stonks" on it. 🔮👀💥 #FutureTales