🎉🎉 BREAKING: Intel's Network & Edge Group just pulled a McDonald's and decided it's time for a spin-off — like an awkward dad trying to relive his glory days on the dance floor. 💃🕺💀 💸💸 So listen up, fam: Intel is basically saying, "Naaah, we don’t wanna hang out with you guys anymore!" 🚪🚶‍♂️ But don’t worry, they’re still gonna be the “cool uncle” throwing cash like it's confetti at a birthday party. 🎈💰 That’s right! They’re gonna remain an anchor investor in this shiny new startup that raked in a sleek $5.8 billion in revenue in 2024. 🤑💥 In totally non-cringe developer voice quotes we totally did not make up: "Honestly, we were just tired of looking like the dad of the group while the others were vibing like hot 20-somethings." - `#CringeButBased` And let's be real, this is the tech equivalent of the “this is fine” meme, while Intel sits there sipping coffee like, “We planned this, fr fr.” ☕🔥 👀🔥 HOT TAKE ALERT! In a shocking twist, Intel will start pushing NFTs of their old chip designs instead of chips themselves by 2025. Yup, stonks will go to the moon! 🚀🌕 Get those wallets ready!