🚨🎉 **BREAKING NEWS IN THE LAND OF BORE!** 🌥️🔔 Philips Hue just hit us with the *HUE-mongous* announcement of the century — their first video doorbell is dropping for a light-THIEF price of $169! 💸💀 This thing looks more basic than the number of times I forgot to lock my front door 🙄. Imagine a candy bar-shaped *"Oh, look! A doorbell!"* that you can’t eat. 🍫🤡 Now, hold up, did we really need another boring wired doorbell? Like, no cap, I thought 2023 was the year of *cordless freedom*. But nah, let’s just bring the wires back, fam! 🔌🤦‍♂️ AND get this - it needs both 2.4GHz and 5GHz Wi-Fi, like *bro*, you’re not a WiFi wizard with a second degree from Hogwarts. 🧙‍♂️✨ Zigbee compatibility? Is that even a real thing or just tech-nerd code for “please buy more of our overpriced lights”? 🤖🔥 And why is the chime a requirement? So now I can’t even use my old “ring-a-ling” doorbell without getting a divorce from my budget? 🚪💔 Developer quote: *“If I had a dollar for every time I made a poor decision, I could probably buy this doorbell?”* 🤑 👀 **Unhinged Prediction Alert**: In 5 years, doorbells will have more cameras than your average Netflix documentary. Just wait until you can get a WiFi-enabled *ring doorbell* that does your taxes! 📈💰🔮 Share this chaos, fam! The future is wild and Hertz! 🚀🔥✨ #NotJustADoorbell #Stonks