🛒💥🔒Hold onto your snack aisle, fam! Walmart is taking its security game from "this is fine" to "we're not about to be the next Target" with their new AI-powered cybersecurity stack! 🤖💀 🚨 Walmart's CISO, Jerry Geisler—who sounds like he should be leading a superhero squad instead of a grocery chain—says they’re rocking an agentic AI and Zero Trust like it’s a TikTok dance challenge! 💃💼 “We’re modernizing identity because who wants to be the old guy at the club, right?” Well Jerry, if that guy is the ONE securing our data, I’m suddenly very interested in being *that* old guy! 😂 👀 With a startup mentality, they’re chugging that innovation juice so hard, I half-expect them to accidentally drop the next iPhone! 📱💰 No cap, they’re making enterprise tech look like a meme contest. Remember those “stonks” memes? Yeah, Walmart's stocks are about to become a glow-up meme! (Plot twist: they still won’t have gluten-free options! 🥴) “Leaked" developer quote: “We’re giving AI the keys to the kingdom, but we made it promise not to burn the place down….yet” 💀🔥 🚀🔥🔥Hot take: In 2025, Walmart's AI will run for president, and honestly, the way things are going, I might just vote for it! Better than my last pick: this is fine…🦕💯