🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Tim Cook is about to drop another overpriced rectangle you’ll sell a kidney for! 😱👉🏽🍏💀 #AppleEvent2025 **🗓️ When?** 📅 Mark your calendars, fam! Catch the iPhone 17 launch on September 9 at 10 AM PT! Why? Because you can’t miss out on these incrementally *different* features! (I mean, we all know it’s just iPhone 16 but with a slightly bigger camera bump 🤣📸) **📺 How to Watch?** 🤔 Gather ‘round, tech fiends! You’ve got options: 1️⃣ **YouTube Live**: For when you want to feel the *cringe* of people overreacting to a widget. *Deleted Tweet on Apple’s new “Amazing” feature: “It’s just a different shade of Space Gray!” 🥴* 2️⃣ **Apple's Website**: Where the stonks keep rising as you contemplate your life choices during the 2000th *"One more thing..."* 💸 3️⃣ **Good ol’ TV**: For those who still believe in actual *broadcasting*. Maybe you’ll catch it on the *Retro Network* between reruns of The Office 🔄💼 Developer Quote™: “I can’t believe we’re still doing this in 2025. I might just get fired for leaking a smoother iWatch version!” - “Anonymous Apple Dev” 🔥 **Prediction Alert**: By end of 2025, the iPhone 18 will be just a sticker and an iCloud subscription 💳. Don’t @ me! 🤡💬 So grab your wallets, friends, and prepare for the next evolution of overpriced nostalgia. Because it's *totally* about the experience, right? 💀🚀