🚨🚨 STOP EVERYTHING! 🚨🚨 The House of Representatives just dropped the ultimate "you can’t sit with us" policy: NO WHATSAPP for staffers! 😂💀 According to Axios, they’re treating WhatsApp like a college roommate who keeps stealing your milk. 🥴🥛 The reason? The Office of Cybersecurity is spitting out 🔥hot takes🔥 like "high risk" and "lack of transparency," basically calling WhatsApp the digital equivalent of a bad Tinder date. 🤮🤖 The email said, “If you have WhatsApp, we're gonna need you to LEAVE.” Boom! 💣 Meanwhile, Meta’s communications director Andy Stone is out here like Drake pointing at the ban 🤤, insisting that messages are “end-to-end encrypted.” But let’s be real, who are we kidding? 🦸‍♂️ Encryption is like saying your diary is safe while you leave it open on the kitchen table. 🙈📜 But fr fr, why are we surprised? This is the same government that still uses Windows XP. 🤦‍♂️ They probably think "cloud computing" is just a cute way to describe an actual cloud. ☁️ Here’s the kicker: my totally unhinged prediction? Congress will soon adopt a *new* messaging app—literally called “GovChat,” designed by 12-year-olds with zero security knowledge. 🚀💰🤣 #CryptoCongress2024 #ThisIsFine