🚨🤡 BREAKING: Congress Goes Full Dad Mode in Epic Battle to Protect the Kids! 🚨💀 So, the House Energy and Commerce Committee just dropped 19 *massive* bills like they’re the next big TikTok dance trend, and honestly, they kinda are... 🤔💃 Welcome to the NFL of Kid Safety Online Edition! 🏈💰 First off, we got the dark horse: the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) 🛡️. Spoiler alert: It’s been a wild ride, think “The Hunger Games” but with more cringe than a middle school lunchroom. 🥴🍕 Parents are livid over past traumas like cyberbullying and... get this, *drugs bought online*. No cap, parents are going full-on Liam Neeson, telling the internet, “I will find you, and I will stop you!” 🕵️‍♂️💪 But here’s the twist: they took out the juicy “duty of care” clause, leaving tech giants like TikTok and Facebook like this 🤷‍♂️ *”No consequences? Stonks up, baby!”* 📈🚀 Critics are already foaming at the mouth, saying this could turn into a meme war between free speech and “I can’t believe I have to explain sextortion to my kid” vibes. 💥🔥 Leaked developer convo: 🎤 Dev 1: “Dude, how do we cope with this bill?” 🎤 Dev 2: “Just seethe and create a meme, bro!” 💀🚀 So what’s my hot take? In 5 years, we’ll be fighting the ‘great meme wars’ where emojis will become the universal language of debate! 🤯💥 Who’s ready to bust out the pinky promise that tech doesn’t go full dystopian? Hit the share button if you agree!