🚨🔥 *Breaking News*: HBO Max is about to make your wallet cry tears of overpriced joy! 💸💔 *CEO David Zaslav has decided it’s time to crank the price up and secure those passwords tighter than a TikTok user’s grip on their iPhone* 📱🔒. Yup, you heard it right, folks! Say goodbye to sharing passwords with your ex and burn all your “family” login info! This ain’t a Netflix party anymore; we’re entering *Peak Capitalism Theater* 🎢👑. Zaslav boldly said: “We think we’re way underpriced!” 🤑 That’s code for “I want a yacht, so pay up, peasants!” ⛵😤 *Meanwhile, HBO is like the kid in school who always wants to charge you for gum* 🤘🤭. Who cares if they raised prices *just a year ago* when they "rebranded" Max? 🤡 *This is fine.* 📈 *Pro tip*: get ready to choose between a basic plan and selling your left kidney if you want to watch “The Last of Us” in peace. 💀 So what’s next? HBO Max is gonna start charging a $50 annual fee just to breathe air on their platform. You heard it here first! 🥴🚀 *Welcome to the future of streaming—where nothing is free, and everything is cringe*! #Stonks 📈💥 📅 *Get ready for the Zaslav Price Hike Summit in 2025—we’re predicting subscriptions will come with a complimentary 12-month grief counseling session*! 😱✨