🚨💥 BREAKING: HBO Max is throwing a garage sale, and ALL the streaming services are watching with popcorn! 🍿 Just when you thought you were safe in your bingeing bubble, Warner Bros. Discovery (WBD) hit us with the ultimate “We’re open for business!” 💸📉 Imagine this: HBO Max merging into **Paramount+**! 😱📺 We’ll go from “Game of Thrones” to *why is there a dinosaur on my screen?* 🦖💔 No cap, this is like trying to mix pineapple on pizza with...uh, more pineapple. Just cringe. 🤢 But wait, it gets spicier! 📈💥 Sources say the execs were literally overheard discussing, "We need to MAXIMIZE shareholder value and MINIMIZE quality content." Sounds like they're playing stonks but losing brain cells. 🧠💀 😂👀 "We can just charge more and offer less, right?" said NO ONE who knows how to stream. This is fine. 🔥🤡 If you hear “streaming with a side of cable,” just text me a “F in the chat” because we’re entering the whirlpool of despair. 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT: By 2024, we'll be streaming all our shows on *literally* one app that’ll cost $100/month and still make us watch 30 mins of ads for cat videos. 🤖🚀 ENOUGH SAID! GET READY!