🚨💣BREAKING: Hackers just pulled a *full Ocean’s 11* on Salesforce, snatching up 1 BILLION records like they’re grabbing free snacks at a tech conference! 🕵️‍♂️💻 That’s more data than your grandma has in her rolodex! 🤭📇 💀👀 So we got companies like FedEx & Qantas crying in their coffee because some keyboard warriors decided to go on a digital scavenger hunt! “Stolen data? Nah, we just hit the billion records lottery! 🎰💰” – said the hacker in his mom’s basement (leaked quote, ofc). This is like when you order a "2-piece chicken" but get a whole buffet—what are you gonna do with it? 🥴🐔🦅 *Drake pointing:* “What I wanted: protection. What I got: a front-row seat to the Titanic sinking.” 😬🚢 Meanwhile, Salesforce is out here like "this is fine" 🐶🔥, as they scramble to secure the vault while secretly wondering if they can just slap a “Next Gen Cybersecurity” sticker on it and call it a day. 🤡 🔥💥 Hot Take Alert: In a year, companies will be like, “Yeah, we’re outsourcing our data security to a 14-year-old on TikTok—he’s based.” 🤖💥 Brace yourself! The data apocalypse is here, and it’s about to get very *real* out here. Share this before the hackers come for you next! 😱💣💥