🚨BREAKING HR DRAMA 🚨: Gusto just dropped ~$600M like it’s nothing on Guideline, turning the 401(k) game into a whole new level of "who needs stock options?" 💰🤡💀 But let’s be real, who is investing in 401(k) plans? 💤 NO CAP, the real flex is showing off your meme stocks, amirite? Stonks go up, retirement plans go... where? 🤔🚀 "Why buy a retirement plan when you can stonks?" - Some Gusto developer, probably 🔥💻. Guideline pulled $340M like it was a TikTok trend 😱✨, with a spicy $1.15B valuation back in 2021. You had a good run, Guideline, but now you're just Gusto's plushie 🧸💔. What’s next? A 401(k) for your pet rock? 🤖💥 This is fine, but get ready for a future where retirement plans come with NFT art and virtual reality golf ⛳️🔥. The Gusto HQ will have a "Chill 401(k) Zone" with bean bags and VR headsets, all while millennials are like "retirement? That's for boomers." 😂💀 👀 Hot take: In 5 years, Gusto will pivot to retirement party planning, and Guideline will become the #1 NFT art gallery for retirees. Predictable? Maybe. Chaotic? Definitely. Now go hit that share button before you forget what a 401(k) is. 💀🤑✨