🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The fruit company is in major trouble again! 🍏💀 The US Department of Justice just hit Apple with a “hold my juice” moment as a judge says the antitrust lawsuit can keep rolling like a bad meme format. What’s next, Apple? The judge said, “The gov's got receipts, fam. 🍵📜” So here’s the tea: Apple tried to throw a tantrum 😠 and dismiss the whole shebang like a kid refusing to eat broccoli, claiming they’re NOT the big bad wolf in the smartphone hood. “We don’t block competitors!” – Apple, probably while holding an iPhone that’s running slower than your grandma’s dial-up connection. 📞🔥 But let's be real, Apple *could* be conspiring to slow things down just so they can sell you the next shiny (and overpriced) upgrade. Come on, it’s giving “intentional degradation” vibes that are as suspicious as a TikTok dance challenge gone wrong. 🤡💃 Leaked quote from an anonymous Apple developer: "Honestly, we just want to keep our stonks up. But was it the iOS updates or the fact I dropped my phone into the toilet? 🤔💦" 🔥 Hot Take: By 2025, Apple will release the *first ever iPhone* that only allows you to call your mom 🔥📞, and somehow it’ll be a BESTSELLER! 💥 #AppleAntitrust #BrokeBoysUnite