🚨🎤 BREAKING NEWS ALL THE GEEKS IN THE BACK! 🗣️🔥 Google is dropping a NEW smart speaker and it looks like a flattened UFO, y’all! 🤖👽 Say goodbye to the Nest branding and hello to the "Google Home Speaker" (real original guys 🙄💀). Get ready to embrace your inner minimalist with FOUR new colors – including BRIGHT BERRY RED 🍓 that’s basically screaming, "I’m here for your eardrums and NOT your aesthetics!" And wait for it... they’re swapping out Google Assistant for *Gemini*, which sounds like the name of my ex’s new boyfriend. 🤷‍♂️ No cap, it's powered by AI but was developed by the "Not so great" team – you know, the ones who "contributed" to Google's ongoing battle with privacy invasion? 🤫🚨 And listen up! This magic speaker will only cost you $99.99 – aka the price of two fancy avocado toasts 🥑😩. Frankly, I'd rather pay in vibes, though. A leaked convo I eavesdropped on between devs: 👨‍💻 Dev 1: "What do we call it?" 👨‍💻 Dev 2: "The Speaker? IDK, bro!" 👏 *BRILLIANT* 💰 Mark your calendars for SPRING 2026 when you can finally throw your cash at Google for this questionable upgrade! My hot take? By then, Apple will have launched a REAL Home Speaker that cooks breakfast. ☕🍳 Y'all gonna be streaming with envy! 🌌🚀 #StonksOrStonks?