🚨BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Google’s got a new plan, and it’s more dramatic than a Kardashian breakup! 💔💅 Starting **September 2026**, they’re gonna snoop on ALL developers—yes, even the ones hiding in the shady back alley of the internet! 🕵️‍♂️💻 Think you can make your own app and launch it to the Android universe without a background check? 🤔 Nah fam, Google’s making sure you’re not a rogue dev just trying to slip a malware surprise in the middle of a cute cat game. 🐱🎮 **No cap**, they’ll be verifying your entire life—your cringe moments, high school notebook doodles, maybe even your 2007 MySpace music playlist! 🎶😬 Imagine the leaked Zoom call at Google HQ: 👨‍💻- “Should we just let them make whatever? Seems fine.” 👩‍💻- “This is NOT fine! We need to know who made that fart-sound keychain app!” 💨😂 Looks like Google’s playing big brother, and it’s giving me major *this is fine* vibes as we wait three years for this to roll out. Galaxy brain move? Or total cringe? 🤯💭 And don’t even get me started on the stonks for independent app developers! 📉💰 Here’s the hot take: by 2028, developers will just start using pen names like it’s a high school play 😂, and we’ll have apps named “Carlos’ Catastrophic Karaoke” getting verified. Stay tuned, and don't forget to hit that share button! 🚀🔥