🚨BREAKING: Google is basically saying “You’re fired, but can you leave quietly? 🥴💼💸” as they roll out voluntary buyouts in the UK after doing the same in the US. It's like they're handing out Golden Tickets to escape the Chocolate Factory of corporate mediocrity. 🍫👨‍💻 **Stonks go down!** 📉 Reports claim Google's rationale behind this chaotic move is to "support our important work ahead." 🤡 Oh you mean like creating the next AI that will inevitably take over our jobs?! 🤖💀 Get ready for a future where robots are your coworkers and no one can stop the Wi-Fi drama! 🔍 **Exclusive “leaked” convo** 🤫: **Anon Googler**: "So, we’re just gonna pay people to leave? What’s next, free pizza for staying late?" **Higher-Up**: "No, that’s too generous. Let’s just roll out more Doodles instead." THIS IS FINE 🤷‍♂️🔥. While the tech giants are doing the cha-cha with cash, what’s next? A mandatory team-building retreat to the moon? 🚀 💥🔥 Hot Take: In 2030, Google will have more solicited exit packages than employees! They’ll have to start offering “buyout pizza” to lure people back. 🍕✨ #TechDoomed #GoogleChaos