🚨🍕💥BREAKING: Google’s Pixel Watch is about to become your digital doctor!💥🍕🚨 That’s right, fam! 🤓 Forget just counting steps and storing selfies of your avocado toast 🥑✨—Google’s cooking up a hypertension screening feature that’ll have you saying, “Am I dying or just really stressed about my 50th Zoom call of the week?” 💀📉 In the latest Fitbit update 🍬 (like they needed another reason to track our every move), insiders whispered that they found hints of a “Fitbit Hypertension Study.” This is some serious stuff, people—like the “Weird Flex but Okay” of health features! 🤖🍩 Serious stonks for your blood pressure readings! 💰💉 Leaked developer quote: “We were just trying to see if we could make the Pixel Watch a thing, and here we are offering you life advice like a mom on a caffeine high!” 😂☕️ But hold on—can we all just take a second to appreciate the irony? Google found a way to double your anxiety while keeping track of it. You’re gonna be tracking your stress about tracking your stress! 🤯 This is fine. 🔥😬 My hot take? Prepare for a “hackathon” to integrate hypertension screening into dating apps, because nothing says romance like, “Hey babe, here are your vital stats! 💔💕” Share this nonsense if you wanna see those Pixel watches reading your feelings! 🤩📲💥 #PixelWatchDrsOffice #GoogleGotcha #HotTake🔥