🚨💔 📉 So Google's earthquake detector basically hit the snooze button harder than your average college student during a 7 AM class! 🤡💀💤 In a shocking *twist*, it turns out only *469* people got the high alert WARNING of impending doom while the ground was literally shaking like a TikTok dance challenge! 🕺💥 Meanwhile, millions were like *👀* “This is fine” as buildings were playing Jenga IRL. 🎮🏠 Leaked developer quote: “We thought the alerts were set to the right ‘screeching cat’ noise, but I guess we were just vibing too hard on Google Wave!” 🙃💥💻 Think about it: Google’s a tech giant—aren't they supposed to be the “Stonks” of disaster warning? 💸📈 Instead, the only thing they’re warning is... um, your grandma about the new layout of Google Docs?! Drake be like: “Not even *a*s* alerting you?!” 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ This small-scale mishap has left the tech community like, “you had ONE job!” 👀⚠️ Sooo, what’s next? Google’s gonna start selling “Earthquake Energy Drinks” to boost their warning systems? 🔥🔥 Hot Take: By 2024, Google will have an app that detects greasy pizza before you order it, but still no earthquake alerts. Cope, seethe, and stay shaky! 🌍🍕💥