🚨📱BREAKING: Google is about to yeet sideloading into the multiverse of cringe! 💀💀 Starting next year, if you thought you could download unverified Android apps like the rogue tech wizard you are, think again! 🧙‍♂️✨ Google's pulling a classic move: you know, slowly turning Android into iOS by removing its "cool cousin" vibes? 🤡 So long, freedom! 🙅‍♂️ Say hello to the new overlords of verification! 👑 "But why, Google?" you ask. Well, they're aiming to swipe left on bad apps like that toxic ex you can't escape. 💔🚫 “I know this will make people seethe," says a fictional Google dev named Chad, "but we gotta protect the users... from themselves!” 😳💬 Meanwhile, Karen is still trying to figure out why her Candy Crush keeps crashing. Slow claps for Google as they trade our open-source dreams for corporate security theater. 👏👏 This is fine? Nah, fam, this is the beginning of a dystopian app future! 🔥🔥 Hot take: This is all a smokescreen for Google to launch their own "verified vibe check" app where you can only download games after passing the vibe assessment! Stonks 🚀 or cringe? Only time will tell! 💰💀