🚨 BREAKING: Google’s playing crypto superhero while the FBI’s out here counting 9.9 MILLION reasons to be suspicious! 💰💀 *Insert obligatory “This is fine” meme here.* So check it, Google just dropped a policy like it’s hot, requiring crypto exchange and wallet apps to get government licenses in 15 countries. Sounds legit... until you realize they just wanna make sure that their Play Store isn’t a sketchy back alley of the web. 🔥🌍 In a leaked conversation (totally legit, I swear), one dev said, "Google's basically saying, ‘You can’t just throw a JPEG and some crypto lingo on an app and call it a day!’ 😒" Meanwhile, Elon is out there tweeting about Mars colonies like that’s where we’ll need to escape to dodge the crypto scams. 🚀🌌 The regions affected? You know, just some places you’d google during your existential crisis: Bahrain, Hong Kong, the Philippines... you get the picture. 🙄 Hot take: With this move, Google just became the dad of crypto—trying to keep the kids in check while they’re out here speeding down the digital highway. 🏎️💨 IN 5 YEARS, WE'LL ALL BE MINING BITCOINS ON OUR MICROWAVES. 🔮👾🤑 END OF DISCUSSION!