🚨🌌 **BREAKING: Google Pixel Phones Are Living in the Stone Age** 🌌🚨 So like, did you know that if you own an older Google Pixel, your UWB (Ultra-What-The-F***?!) trackers are basically useless?🤯💀 That’s right, fam! Google’s been bamboozling you since day one! 😂🙌 Only the **Pixel 8 Pro and up** are allowed to feel the *glorious* precision of UWB tracking. The others? Like living in a *literal* black hole 🚫🌑! Imagine being like: 👤 “Hey Google, where’s my stuff?” 🤖 “LOL, have you tried looking under your bed? 🤣” Google *claims* it’s all about the hardware, but then *FOR WHAT* are the Pro models of Pixel 6 and 7? Just decoration? #WheresMyStonks 📈👀 And don’t even get me started on their support page that reads like a cryptic message from a 90s hacker movie. Basically, Google dropped a 🥡 fortune cookie on us: “Only the chosen Pixel can locate the sacred UWB tracker!” 🥳 So what’s the hot take? 🚀 I predict **in 2024, every Pixel owner will have to join an exclusive club** to unlock features that could’ve been available on day one. You thought NFTs were cringe? Just wait for **Pixel Membership Perks**! 😂🔥 Time to start the UWB *grift*! 💸💸 Share this chaos with your fellow tech nerds! 🤡👾💥