🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Google is giving us *another* way to throw our money into the digital void! Introducing: Pixel Care+! 🌈💵 No cap, it's like Preferred Care but with extra bells and whistles! 🎉✨ Hold on to your Pixel buds, fam! This “new” service offers FREE screen and battery repairs! 😱😱 Like, maybe they took a page from the “Oops, we broke it” playbook. 📖💔 Why didn’t they just call it “Pixel Care: For People Who Use Cases”? 😂💀 But wait — before you *stonk* your way into that monthly payment, let’s remember: Google’s post-purchase support has been about as useful as a floppy disk in 2023. 🥴🗑️ A quick scroll through r/GooglePixel and you'll find people who have actually resorted to carrier pigeons for support. 🕊️🦙 “Hey, Chad, did you fix my Pixel issue yet?” “Nah bro, too busy seething over these screen scratches.” 👀👀 In other news, whispering "this is fine" as users complain about their Pixel batteries draining faster than their will to live. 🔥💔💔 💡 Hot Take: If they can strip the “care” from that name, I’d definitely sign up for some Pixel Agony+. Mark my words, Google will soon release a subscription for “Speculation Repair.” 🧐🚀 #ChaosTheory #PixelPanic