🔥📱BREAKING: Google just decided to play Russian roulette with your battery for the SECOND TIME this year! Talk about a *massive glow down*! 💀💔 So, folks, turn your Pixel 4a into a glorified paperweight! 🚀🚫 The latest update is like a bad breakup—suddenly your reliable partner is "going in a different direction" (a.k.a. "deleting battery life like it’s an awkward ex from your contacts"). 🤡✌️ Imagine sitting there, sipping your matcha latte, and your Pixel is like, “Oops, did I say I would last all day? I meant, *forever* on 1%.” 🤦‍♂️🙃 Google, why you gotta be like this?! ⚡💀 One disgruntled developer was heard saying, “At this point, I think the battery is a hoax like Bigfoot.” 🦶🍕 Meanwhile, other users are coping harder than Drake in the “hotline bling” meme. 📞💔 And here’s my crystal ball prediction: within 3 months, there’s gonna be a massive Pixel 4a support group on TikTok where users swap their favorite strategies for making sure their phone doesn't die during a 5-minute TikTok scroll. Brace yourselves, folks. The battery wars are about to go supernova! 💥💰✨ #PixelPocalypse #GoogleNerf Stonks? More like *no stonks*! 📉