🔥🎉📱 **BREAKING: Google Just Signed Stephen Curry, NBA Legend & 3-Point Flat Earth Advocate, to Sell Pixel Phones & Health Gadgets!** 🚀💰 In a move that has left the tech world as confused as someone trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler, Google tossed a fat wad of cash at Stephen Curry to put some pizzazz into their Pixel ads. Yup, you heard right! The same dude who can sink threes from outer space is now a “performance advisor” for Google. 🤡👀 👟💪 What does this mean? It means Curry will be doing *something* with Fitbit's new AI health coach—probably telling it to “treat yo’ self” after a grueling workout. This fat bot is powered by Gemini, which sounds fancy until you realize it’s just your phone’s attempt at being your motivational mom. 😂💀 A "source" close to the situation (totally not made-up) said, "Curry's just here to dunk on our competitors. And also, he promised to wear our gear all the time because it’s on brand.” 🏀🔥 📉 In other news, Google’s stock just experienced a slight 🥴 due to the overwhelming cringe. Just wait till we see Curry’s first ad, where he’ll probably be breaking records and simultaneously breaking the internet! 🤯💥 **🔥HOT TAKE🔥:** By 2025, all ads will feature someone "famous" selling health gadgets, and we'll all be drinking kale smoothies while staring into our Pixel 98s, contemplating life choices. **STONKS! 📈✨** Share this chaos with your friends, or they might just be too busy scrolling through memes to realize they're stuck in a dystopian health app nightmare. 🚀💀