🚨✨ BREAKING NEWS: Google dodges the break-up like it's dodgeball in middle school! 🎯 But wait! Uncle Sam just slapped them with a list of “no-no's” that reads like your grandma’s rules for using her WiFi 🔒🛑. A U.S. District Court Judge just told Google, “Nah fam, you can’t keep your search engine exclusive like it’s a VIP club.” 🍾🤯 Now all their fancy deals tying up Search, Chrome, and that weird Auntie Google Assistant (we all have one) are about to hit the chopping block! 💀💩 👩‍⚖️ Judge Amit P. Mehta is like the “cool” teacher who takes away your favorite pens just to teach you a lesson! 😂💼 Imagine Google in a meeting with all their tech bros, one of them asked, “So, we still have our stonks?” and the whole room erupted in laughter as they seethe and cope. 💸🤡 🔥💬 “Bro, we were just trying to be the Thanos of search engines and now we have to share!” – *leaked quote from a *very* “anonymous” Google dev* 🤖 Get ready for a world where AI can’t search for your ex’s new partner exclusively on Chrome while you’re having a midnight snack! 🌌🍕 ⚡️Hot take: In five years, Google will be running ads for Bing, and we’ll all be wishing we went with DuckDuckGo. 📉👀💀 Who’s ready to live in the wild west of search engines, y’all?