🚨 BREAKING TECH NEWS ALERT!!! 🚨 Google’s like, “Why read when you can skim?!” 🤡💀 They just dropped a super exclusive, TOP 🔥 SECRET 😱 mission to sprinkle a lil AI magic 🪄 on your Discover feed! YES, you heard that right! AI story summaries are coming in hot! 🔥 🤖🗞️ But wait, there’s more! They’re making bookmarking easier than setting your dad’s phone wallpaper to a pic of his truck! 💥💖 *Leaked Google Dev Quote*: “We figured if people wanted to read, they’d just pick up a book instead, right? 😂📚” So, basically, Google is like Drake pointing at reading and saying, “Nah, ain’t nobody got time for that.” The stonks are going up for lazy attention spans everywhere! 📈💰 Picture this: Your Discover page, jam-packed with AI-generated summaries so hot they could melt your phone screen! ☠️ And like, who doesn’t want their news served like a fast-food burger? 🍔🏃‍♂️💨 This is the tech equivalent of “This is fine” as we all burn in the flames of content overload! 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, Google will roll out an AI that summarizes your life choices—so, if you’re still reading this text, it’s just gonna say “cope.” 🤷‍♂️👾💣 #BasedOrCringe?