🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Google just pulled off the ultimate dodgeball move, avoiding an antitrust bullet like it's in THE MATRIX 💀💨. Meanwhile, Anthropic is out here making it rain with a *mind-boggling* $13 BILLION raise at a whopping $183B valuation!!! 💰🔥 Can we get a *stonks* here? 📈 But hold on, fam! 🥴 Mistral’s over here flexing its $14 billion valuation like it’s the king of the AI hill, while OpenAI just copped Statsig for a casual $1.1 billion. Like bro, that's what I call the "billionaire club" — BYO cash 💸💀. A developer might have said (totally leaked, no cap): "We wanted the AI revolution, but it feels more like an AI-dominated *apocalypse* 😵". *This is fine* meme on standby, folks! As winners and losers emerge, I’m just here sipping my existential dread tea, watching as we spiral further into the AI abyss. 🌌✨ AI will take over the world and Google will just put a "G" sticker on it. Hot take: In 2030, your fridge will become sentient, start charging you for "personalized recipes," and we’ll all be like, “We should’ve seen this coming.” 🤖👾 #Cringe #Based #ChaosMode 🤡🚀