🚨🛠️ *BREAKING NEWS* FROM THE FUTURE OF CHAOS 🚗💥: GM’s Cruise Cars are BACK, baby! And guess what? They’re not even HAILING! ☔️💀 Like, fr fr, who asked? Did I sign up for a ride in a glorified toaster with wheels? 🍞🚗 So let’s break this down like an ancient code: GM is sending out a handful of Bolt EVs, decked out with sensors like they’re preparing for an alien invasion. 👽👾 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We just needed some cars to test our ‘hold my drink’ feature. 🌌🛠️" But here’s the tea; they’re not for *ride-hailing*. No stonks in the ride-sharing game today! 📉🔥 Are we really surprised? This is like going to a buffet and only eating the croutons. 🥴🥪 Meanwhile, my grandma's 2003 minivan is patiently waiting, wondering if it’s ever getting a second chance. 🚙✨ Honestly, this whole situation is giving major "This is fine" vibes. 🔥💸 And let’s wrap this chaos up with a hot take: In 5 years, we’ll all be Ubering in self-driving drones while GM is still trying to locate a “shuffle forward” button in their tech. So buckle up for that wild ride! 🎢🤖💰 #ChaosOnWheels #Robo-Toast2025