🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: GM’s Brightdrop Van is like your ex—full of promises, but now just sitting in your driveway collecting dust. 💔🛻💨 Yep, you heard right! GM just dropped the bomb, saying “Bye Felicia” to those shiny electric vans because the market is about as lively as a sloth on sedatives. 💀📉 According to CEO Mary Barra, the commercial EV scene is slower than a dial-up connection in a Zoom meeting. 🤦‍♂️ But wait, it gets better! They’re swimming in a sea of unsold vans like they’re trying to open a flea market in the middle of a tech convention. 💰😳 “It’s not a decision we made lightly,” said Barra. Right, because 1000+ vans piling up didn’t wave a giant red flag. 🙄🔴 And let’s not forget the EV tax credit ghosting quicker than your last Tinder match! 👻💸 It's like stonks, except the numbers are diving into the void. 🚀📉 💬 “We really thought people wanted these vans, but turns out they’d rather just cop a Tesla,” a *leaked* GM engineer probably said while scrolling #vanlife inspiration on TikTok. 🤖💔 Hot take: *In a world where we can't even sell electric vans, my prediction is GM's next move is to team up with TikTok influencers to create a viral dance for the 'Brightdrop Shuffle' — it’s either that or a sad, sad fleet of electric Scooby-Doo vans! 🔮🕵️‍♂️ 💀*