🚨🍪 BREAKING COOKIE NEWS ALERT! 🍪🚨 Get ready to dunk your taste buds in a pool of nostalgia because NEW GIRL SCOUT COOKIES HAVE ARRIVED, and they taste like a Rocky Road ice cream experience — but with a side of American capitalism, obvi! 💸🤡 Imagine slamming down these chocolate sandwich cookies that are SO loaded with chocolate, marshmallow, and toasted almond-flavored crème that they make you feel like you're *actually* on a sugar-fueled rollercoaster ride at 3 AM. 🎢✨ And guess what? Adobe is involved! Like, are they rendering cookies now? 🍪💻 “We wanted to make the cookie experience as smooth as Photoshop,” says some imaginary Adobe dev in a leaked Zoom call that was definitely happening. 🤣💀 So, how do you get these bad boys? Just don’t be that weirdo who tries to pay for cookies with exposure or vague Instagram clout. 🥴 NO CAP, just hit up your local troop (they’re basically middle-school drug lords now, but in a wholesome way). In closing, mark my words: within a year, these cookies will be NFTs 💰👾 that you can trade for crypto or your friend’s dignity. It's about to get wild, folks! 🚀🔥 #GirlScoutGang #CookieStonks