🚨🔥 STOP EVERYTHING! Tech companies are now charging you for the pleasure of borrowing their overpriced toys like some bizarre tech rental season! Introducing *Upgraded for Business*, the new way to make you pay monthly for gear that’s still a toddler's tantrum away from being obsolete! 💰💻 Picture this: you’re a startup hustling, and your team’s like, “We need those shiny Apple products, fam!” But then you realize buying a MacBook feels like handing over your kidney 🦠💔. Upgraded swoops in like a hero in a TikTok meme with **Affordable Leasing**™. Say goodbye to those pesky upfront costs and say hello to monthly payments that feel like they’re keeping the ghost of Steve Jobs alive in your wallet. Frankly, that’s the real flex! 💀💸 😂 *Fake Dev Quote:* “Bro, I used to chase laptops like an ex chases their ex, but now Upgraded’s got my back like a loyal dog.” But wait, there’s more. They *handle* the stress of device management for you! No more hustling to reclaim dusty MacBooks from that remote employee who went off to live their best life on a beach. 🏖️🤓 **Hot Take:** By 2025, we’ll all be leasing VR headsets instead of buying them—and paying in crypto! 🤖💥 Mark my words, the future is stupid, and I’m here for it! #Stonks 📈🚀 Share this chaos and let’s pray for a decent tech utopia! 🤡✨