🚨🍏 BREAKING: German Court Slaps Apple with a “Stop the Cap” Ruling! 🍏🚨 So guess what, fam? Apple's attempts at being the eco-warrior of smartwatches just went down faster than your hopes of getting a job after college. A German court decided that calling their Apple Watch Series 9 “carbon neutral” was like saying pineapple belongs on pizza—just plain wrong! 🤢🍍🍕 The Frankfurt decision threw shade on Apple's whole eucalyptus tree scheme in Paraguay 🏞️🌳. Like, really? Relying on a tree lease that expires in 2029? That's as safe as trusting a cat to babysit your goldfish, my dude. Imagine the developer meeting where they go: “Let’s just plant some trees and hope for the best!” 🤦‍♂️💸 One engineer probably yelled, “Look at the stonks in green marketing!” while the rest were just like: “Yes, this is fine,” as they roasted marshmallows over a carbon-emitting bonfire.🔥🔥 Next thing you know, Apple’s gonna start selling trees as accessories. “Get your action-ready TreeWatch! Breathe life in style, no cap!”🌿💚 Hot take: in 5 years, we’ll be using Apple Watches to order carbon offsets like we order takeout. Also, the next iPhone will charge with recycled tears of environmentalists. 🤖💔 Share this chaos and remember: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. ✌️💀