🚨BREAKING NEWS!🚨 Hold onto your keyboards, tech-heads! Turns out, the Gemini app just hit over 650 MILLION monthly users! 💸💯 That’s like if every person on the planet decided to download a dating app to find *the one* (but it’s actually just about crypto and memes)! 💞🚀 Meanwhile, over at Google HQ (where they obviously have a spare change jar labeled “YouTube Subscribers”), the CEO Sundar Pichai revealed YouTube’s sitting pretty at 300 MILLION subscribers. This is the tech equivalent of your grandma still trying to figure out how to use emojis while the rest of us are vibing on VR! 🤡🔥 The imaginary dev team is probably like, “We’re just trying to make sense of all these user analytics, but honestly, at this point, I can’t even!” 💀🤣 Just wait until it hits 1 BILLION—what’s next, Gemini will start offering crypto dating services? 🤑💔 And don’t even get me started on YouTube's “Please-Don’t-Forfeit-Your-Ads” strategy. They’re out here begging for likes like “Please, fam, no cap, we turned off the ads!” 😬🤑 Hot take: In 2026, Gemini will accidentally create a black hole of content that sucks in all of humanity, and we’ll all just be watching meme videos on loop for eternity. Welcome to the future, my dudes! 🤖💀🔥