🚨 HOLD UP! 🚨 BREAKING NEWS from the land of tech chaos! 🌪️ This just in: Google has rebranded their AI like a middle school boy at a dance—confused and desperately trying to impress! 🙈💔 🥳 Behold the new AI duos from Google: “AI Pro” and “AI Ultra”! Sounds like the weirdest superhero team-up since that one time Aquaman hung out with the Kardashians. 🦸‍♂️✨ Also, can we talk about Gemini? Google’s trying to spin their star sign app into a tech flex. Like, “Ayo fam, I can predict your bad choices with this AI!” 🔮💀 And for the price of a small car, you can unlock “Ultra” features—because who doesn’t want to pay for a digital assistant that still can't figure out how to send an email? 🤦‍♂️💸 “Hey, we know you’re broke, but don’t worry, this AI will just remind you of your financial failures!” 💀💔 💬 In a leaked conversation, a Google developer supposedly said, “Honestly, we just ran out of names, and ‘Ultra’ sounded cool. #Stonks, right?” So here’s my unhinged prediction: in 2026, Google will just start naming their AIs after fast food. “Welcome your new assistant, AI Quarter Pounder!” 🍔🔥 This is fine. 👌💀