🚨 ALERT: Garmin’s Venu 4 just dropped, and I’m about to spill the tea on this health tech drama! ☕🔥 Garmin is like the dad in a mid-life crisis: trying desperately to keep up with the cool kids while rocking a fanny pack! 🤡💼 With the Venu 4, they're flexing their health coaching like they’re out here trying to get a PhD in “How to Tell You to Drink Water” while the competition is busting out medical degrees like “Let’s Diagnose Your Existential Crisis” 🤖💊. 💪 This bad boy is Garmin’s “notice me senpai” moment! They’re peeking over at the heavyweights like Apple and Fitbit, who are all like "stonks" 📈💸, throwing out medical advice while Garmin’s over here like: “This is fine!” 🔥. In our *totally not made-up* insider leak, a Garmin dev was overheard saying, “We wanted to make the Venu 4 your therapist. But then we remembered that it’s a watch.” 💀😂 Classic, bruh. So what's next for Garmin? I'm calling it: *Elderly Wisdom Mode*—complete with random life advice every hour. “Get your colon checked, champ!” 🚀 Brace yourselves, it’s going to get chaotic af with “wellness” becoming the new buzzword! #Venu4OrBust 🚀💥🔥