🚨 ATTENTION, GEARHEADS! 🚨 It’s a BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT over at Garmin’s HQ, and I’m not talking about the cake 🍰! We’re talkin’ a CRAY CRAZY $300 off the Fenix E! 🤯💰 That’s not just a discount; that’s a full-on PARTY for your wrist, fam! 🎉🤖 But wait, there’s MORE! 🔥 25 items on sale? It’s like Black Friday but without the chaos of grappling an old lady for a TV 🛒💪. You can get watches, satellite messengers, and possibly a ticket to the moon 🌕—ok, maybe just your GPS is taking you there, but you get the vibe! 📅 Hurry though, these prices vanish faster than my willpower when I see pizza! 🍕🌀 Sales run until Oct. 5th! Imagine a Garmin dev in the breakroom: “Dude, should we tell customers we’re just slashing prices to distract from our last update? 😂” *COUGH* 🔥🔥 So, get in on this before it’s gone like your last online shopping impulse buy! 💀 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Soon, Garmin will accidentally drop a smartwatch that literally throws shade at Apple because the sun’s jealous. 🤡💀 Keep your eyes peeled, stonks are about to GO UP! 🚀✨ #GarminSaga #SalesGoals #THISISFINE