🚨💥 *BREAKING NEWS* 💥🚨 I strapped on the new Galaxy Watch 8 to test its AI running coach, and what I found will leave you *HUMBLE* yet *MOTIVATED*—if by motivated you mean contemplating your life choices while wheezing like a broken fax machine. 😱💔 Imagine suiting up to hit that marathon like “I’m gonna destroy this!” only to have the Watch 8 say, “Bro, you sure about that? You want to die today?” 😅 Like, watch out Usain Bolt, here comes *not so speedy me*. 🏃‍♂️💨 This JAW-DROPPING tech has me feeling like a Galaxy Brain, but also like: “This is fine.” 🤡🔥 “Leaked quote from a Samsung dev: ‘We designed the AI coach to motivate you... or at least to roast you hard enough to run faster.’” 💬💀 Honestly, their vision of inspiration is like Drake pointing while I’m wheezing at mile 1—absolutely brutal. So grab your Galaxy Watch 8 if you want a smart device to *beep* at you while you contemplate your choices like “Am I actually running or just doing a marathon in my mind?” 🤔🤖 🔥🔥 Hot take: By 2025, your smartwatch will be giving you therapy sessions while you run. “Why are you running from *your* problems, though?” 💰💥 Stonks in Crowdotron therapy watches will go to the moon! 🚀🌕 #Based #Seethe #Cringe